Dr. Amy Lee, Licensed Psychologist & Behavior Analyst Providing Psychological Evaluations & Psychotherapy

Do I Have Anxiety?

You don't have to be falling apart for anxiety to be worth addressing. Sometimes anxiety looks like worrying constantly. Sometimes it looks like perfectionism, people-pleasing, procrastination, avoidance, irritability, physical tension, difficulty sleeping, or simply feeling like you can never fully relax. If anxiety is taking more energy than you'd like or getting in the way of the life and relationships you want, therapy may be a helpful place to explore what's going on.

Symptoms & Areas That Anxiety Impacts

Anticipatory Anxiety

Anticipatory anxiety is the anxiety that shows up before something even happens. You may spend hours, days, or even weeks thinking about an upcoming event and imagining everything that could go wrong.How you may experience yourself

You spend a lot of time thinking about what might happen.
You mentally rehearse conversations or situations before they happen.
You imagine worst-case scenarios, even when you know they may not be realistic.
You have a hard time being present because you're already thinking about the future.
You feel like you need to prepare for every possible outcome.
You may cancel plans because worrying about them becomes exhausting.
You find yourself thinking, “What if…?” over and over again.
You may know logically that you're probably going to be okay, but your body doesn't seem to believe it.
You feel relief when something you've been worrying about is finally over—but then you start worrying about the next thing.

Romantic relationships

You worry about upcoming conversations, dates, trips, or changes in the relationship.
You spend a lot of time wondering how your partner will react to something you want to say.
You may avoid bringing up difficult topics because you're already imagining the conversation going badly.
You worry about whether your partner is upset with you when you have little evidence that they are.
You may need reassurance before or after difficult conversations.
You have trouble enjoying positive moments because you're anticipating what could go wrong.

Work

You worry for days before presentations, meetings, evaluations, interviews, or difficult conversations.
You repeatedly check your work because you're afraid you've made a mistake.
You procrastinate on tasks because thinking about doing them feels overwhelming.
You may spend more time preparing than necessary because you want to feel completely ready.
You have trouble relaxing after work because you're already thinking about tomorrow.

Family & social life

You worry before gatherings, parties, phone calls, or social events.
You may come up with reasons not to attend because the anticipation feels worse than the actual event.
You think about what you'll say, what others might think, or whether you'll feel uncomfortable.
You replay events afterward and analyze how they went.
You may turn down things you actually want to do because anxiety takes away some of the enjoyment.

Avoidance & Anxiety

This is a big one because anxiety isn't always experienced as feeling anxious. Sometimes it looks like avoiding the things that make you anxious.

Putting off difficult conversations
Avoiding appointments, social events, travel, driving, or other activities
Not applying for opportunities because you're afraid of failing
Avoiding dating because rejection feels too uncomfortable
Saying “no” to things you actually want to do
Staying in your comfort zone because trying something new feels overwhelming
Feeling temporary relief when you avoid something, followed by frustration or regret

Decision-making Anxiety

Overthinking even relatively small decisions
Constantly wondering whether you made the right choice
Looking for the “perfect” option
Asking multiple people what they think
Feeling overwhelmed when there are too many choices
Making a decision and then immediately second-guessing yourself

Generalized Anxiety

Generalized anxiety can feel like having a constant background level of worry. There may not be one specific thing you're anxious about. Instead, your mind seems to find something new to worry about. How you may experience yourself

Your mind rarely feels completely quiet.
You worry about many different areas of your life—your health, finances, relationships, work, family, the future, or everyday responsibilities.
You find it difficult to stop worrying, even when you tell yourself to.
You tend to expect something to go wrong.
You overthink decisions, even relatively small ones.
You have difficulty relaxing because you feel like there is always something you should be doing.
You feel mentally exhausted from constantly thinking and planning.
You may be hard on yourself when you make mistakes.
You feel responsible for preventing bad things from happening.
You have trouble tolerating uncertainty and often feel like you need to know what's going to happen.
You may experience physical tension, headaches, stomach issues, difficulty sleeping, or feeling constantly “on edge.”
You may wonder, “Why am I so anxious when everything is technically okay?”

Romantic relationships

You worry about whether your relationship is okay, even when there isn't a clear problem.
You analyze your partner's tone, texts, facial expressions, or behavior.
You may wonder whether your partner is losing interest or whether you did something wrong.
You seek reassurance but find that the relief doesn't last very long.
You have difficulty trusting that things will be okay without constantly checking.
You may avoid conflict because you worry about what it could mean for the relationship.
You may overthink relationship decisions and struggle to trust your own judgment.
Your anxiety can make it difficult to simply enjoy your relationship.

Work

You worry about making mistakes or disappointing others.
You may feel like you're never doing enough.
You spend excessive time checking, reviewing, or perfecting your work.
You have difficulty prioritizing because everything can feel urgent.
You may procrastinate because you're overwhelmed by everything you need to accomplish.
You have trouble mentally “clocking out.”
You may feel guilty when you're not being productive.
Even when you receive positive feedback, you may focus on what you could have done better.

Family & social life

You worry about the people you love and often imagine something happening to them.
You may feel responsible for keeping everyone happy.
You have difficulty saying no because you worry about disappointing people.
You may take on more responsibilities than you realistically have the capacity for.
You replay conversations and wonder if you said something wrong.
You may feel drained after socializing because your mind has been analyzing everything.
You have trouble being spontaneous because you like to know what to expect.

Everyday life

You may feel like you're always preparing for the next problem.
Relaxation can actually feel uncomfortable because your mind immediately finds something else to focus on.
You may have a hard time enjoying the present because you're thinking about the future.
You might describe yourself as a “worrier,” a “perfectionist,” or someone who “overthinks everything.”

Health Anxiety

Frequently noticing or monitoring physical sensations
Googling symptoms and becoming more worried afterward
Worrying that a headache, heart sensation, or stomach issue means something is seriously wrong
Seeking reassurance from loved ones or healthcare providers
Having difficulty believing you're okay even after receiving reassurance
Feeling especially anxious while waiting for test results or medical appointments

High functioning Anxiety

Some people appear to be doing really well on the outside while struggling significantly internally:

You're successful at work but constantly feel like you're falling behind.
People see you as responsible, organized, or dependable, but you're exhausted.
You meet your responsibilities but rarely feel relaxed.
You have a hard time enjoying accomplishments because you're already focused on what's next.
You seem confident to others but second-guess yourself constantly.
You rarely let things drop because you feel responsible for making sure everything gets done.
You may think, “I don't have a reason to feel this anxious. My life is actually going pretty well.”
You wonder whether your anxiety is “bad enough” to deserve help.

Need for control, Difficulties with uncertainty, & Anxiety

Feeling uncomfortable when you don't know what is going to happen
Wanting a plan for every possible scenario
Constantly checking, researching, or preparing to feel more certain
Having difficulty “going with the flow”
Feeling especially anxious when plans change unexpectedly
Thinking that if you prepare enough, you can prevent something bad from happening

Panic & Anxiety

Sudden waves of intense fear or discomfort
Racing heart, shortness of breath, dizziness, shaking, sweating, or feeling flushed
Feeling disconnected from yourself or your surroundings
Worrying that you'll lose control, faint, have a medical emergency, or “go crazy”
Avoiding places or situations because you're afraid of having another panic attack
Constantly scanning your body for signs that panic is starting

People-pleasing, difficulties with boundary setting, & Anxiety

Saying yes when you really want to say no
Worrying that people will be upset or disappointed with you
Feeling responsible for other people's feelings
Apologizing frequently
Avoiding conflict at almost any cost
Struggling to express your needs
Feeling guilty after setting a completely reasonable boundary

Perfectionism & ANxiety

Feeling like your work needs to be “just right”
Spending much longer than necessary checking or revising things
Having difficulty submitting something because you think it could be better
Being much harder on yourself than you would be on someone else
Feeling like mistakes say something negative about you as a person
Procrastinating because you're afraid you won't do something well enough

Reassurance-seeking & ANxiety

Frequently asking others, “Are you sure everything is okay?”
Checking texts, emails, or conversations repeatedly
Looking things up online to reassure yourself
Asking multiple people for their opinions before making a decision
Feeling better briefly after reassurance, only to start worrying again later

Social Anxiety

Social anxiety isn't simply being shy or introverted. It can involve a strong fear of being judged, rejected, embarrassed, or perceived negatively by other people.How you may experience yourself

You worry about how you're coming across to other people.
You think carefully about what you're going to say before speaking.
You may avoid speaking up even when you have something to contribute.
You worry that people are noticing your nervousness.
You may feel self-conscious about your appearance, voice, body language, or behavior.
You replay conversations afterward and analyze what you said.
You assume people noticed your awkward moment—even when they probably didn't.
You compare yourself to other people and feel like you don't measure up.
You may want to connect with people but feel like anxiety gets in the way.
You may feel lonely while simultaneously avoiding situations where you could meet people.
You might think, “I wish I could just be myself around people.”

Romantic relationships

Dating can feel particularly stressful because you worry about being judged or rejected.
You may struggle to initiate conversations or express romantic interest.
You might overthink texts before sending them.
You worry about whether someone likes you or whether you're “doing dating right.”
You may have difficulty being vulnerable or showing your authentic personality.
You might avoid dates or relationships altogether because rejection feels overwhelming.
You may have trouble expressing your needs or setting boundaries because you don't want to upset your partner.

Work

Speaking in meetings may feel intimidating.
You may avoid asking questions because you're afraid of looking uninformed.
Presentations, networking, interviews, or meeting new coworkers can feel overwhelming.
You may have good ideas but hesitate to share them.
You may worry excessively about how supervisors or coworkers perceive you.
You might avoid advocating for yourself, asking for a raise, or addressing workplace concerns.
You may spend significant time preparing for interactions that other people seem to handle effortlessly.

Family & social life

You may avoid parties, gatherings, or events where you don't know many people.
You may feel anxious about meeting new people.
Making phone calls can feel surprisingly difficult.
You might decline invitations even when you genuinely want to go.
You may leave social events feeling exhausted from monitoring yourself.
You may spend hours afterward thinking about something you said.
You might feel like everyone else knows how to socialize “naturally” while you're constantly trying to figure it out.

Everyday life

Anxiety may affect things that seem simple to other people—ordering food, making a phone call, asking for help, going somewhere alone, or talking to a stranger.
You may avoid opportunities because the possibility of embarrassment feels too uncomfortable.
You may feel frustrated because you want a fuller social life, but anxiety keeps making your world smaller.

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