Do I Have Trauma?

A serious accident or injury can change much more than your physical health. It can affect your sense of independence, confidence, identity, and safety.

This can include experiences such as car accidents, serious falls, workplace injuries, traumatic injuries, sudden disability, or significant changes in physical functioning.

You might relate to:

• Feeling nervous about doing things that used to feel completely normal.

• Feeling anxious when you're driving or riding in a car after an accident.

• Avoiding places or activities that remind you of what happened.

• Feeling startled by sudden sounds, movements, traffic, or other reminders.

• Replaying the accident or injury in your mind.

• Having nightmares or unwanted memories about what happened.

• Feeling like your body isn't as safe or reliable as it used to be.

• Paying close attention to every physical sensation.

• Feeling frustrated that your body can't do what it used to do.

• Grieving the independence you once had.

• Feeling uncomfortable asking other people for help.

• Feeling like people treat you differently because of your injury or disability.

• Struggling with changes to your appearance or physical abilities.

• Feeling embarrassed, frustrated, angry, or ashamed about needing assistance.

• Worrying that another accident or injury could happen.

• Feeling like other people don't understand how much your experience has changed your life.

• Having difficulty imagining what your future will look like now.

• Feeling disconnected from the person you were before the accident or injury.

• Becoming anxious when someone else is driving or when you're in a situation that reminds you of what happened.

• Feeling pressure to “get back to normal” when your life has actually changed.

You may think: “I just want my old life back.” or “Everyone thinks I'm okay because the injury has healed, but I'm still struggling with what happened.”

Being betrayed can change the way you see relationships—and sometimes the way you see yourself.

You might:

• Find yourself constantly looking for signs that something is wrong.

• Check someone's behavior, phone, messages, or social media for reassurance.

• Wonder what else you don't know.

• Have difficulty believing someone even when they're telling you the truth.

• Compare yourself to other people.

• Question your own judgment.

• Replay what happened and wonder how you missed the signs.

• Blame yourself for trusting someone.

• Feel embarrassed that you stayed or didn't see what was happening.

• Become anxious when someone's behavior changes even slightly.

• Have difficulty trusting future partners.

You may find yourself thinking: “How could I have not known?” or “How do I know I can trust my own judgment again?”

Childhood experiences can continue to affect us long after we've grown up. You may not even think of your childhood as “traumatic,” but find yourself struggling with patterns that seem difficult to explain.

You might relate to:

• Feeling like you had to grow up too quickly.

• Feeling responsible for everyone else's emotions.

• Being very good at taking care of other people but having no idea what you need.

• Feeling guilty when you say no.

• Worrying that people will be upset with you.

• Feeling like you have to be the “easy” one or the “good” one.

• Having a hard time asking for help because you're used to handling things yourself.

• Being extremely sensitive to criticism or disapproval.

• Feeling like you need to earn people's love or approval.

• Having difficulty trusting that people will stick around.

• Feeling uncomfortable when someone is angry, even when you haven't done anything wrong.

• Automatically trying to fix things when someone else is upset.

• Feeling like you have to keep everyone happy.

• Struggling to know what you actually want because you've spent so much time thinking about what everyone else wants.

You may find yourself thinking: “I know I'm an adult, so why do I still feel like I have to keep everyone happy?”

When you've experienced difficult or unsafe situations repeatedly, your nervous system may learn to stay on alert—even after you're finally safe.

You might:

• Always be scanning the room or people's moods.

• Notice tiny changes in someone's tone or behavior.

• Feel like you're always waiting for something bad to happen.

• Have difficulty relaxing when things are going well.

• Feel uncomfortable when life is calm.

• Expect problems before they happen.

• Have a hard time trusting people.

• Feel like you need to handle everything yourself.

• Struggle to identify what you're feeling until it becomes overwhelming.

• Go from feeling completely fine to suddenly feeling flooded with emotion.

• Shut down or withdraw when things become too much.

• Feel emotionally numb at times.

• Have difficulty knowing what you want or need.

• Find yourself repeating relationship patterns you wish you could change.

You may think: “I don't know why I'm reacting this way. I just know I don't feel safe.”

Family relationships can continue to affect us long after we've moved out or started our own lives.

You might:

• Feel anxious before seeing certain family members.

• Feel like you have to prepare yourself emotionally before family gatherings.

• Feel guilty when you set boundaries.

• Feel responsible for keeping the peace.

• Have difficulty saying no to family members.

• Feel like you're still expected to play the same role you had growing up.

• Feel like you're the one everyone comes to when something goes wrong.

• Become overwhelmed when family members are upset.

• Have difficulty standing up for yourself.

• Feel angry about the way you were treated but guilty for feeling angry.

• Feel like you have to choose between protecting yourself and keeping your family happy.

• Find yourself reverting to an old version of yourself around certain family members.

You may think: “Why do I feel like a completely different person when I'm around my family?”

Sometimes the effects of difficult experiences don't end with the person who experienced them. Patterns of fear, survival, silence, conflict, or emotional disconnection can sometimes be carried from one generation to the next.

Intergenerational trauma may be connected to experiences such as war, displacement, racism, poverty, abuse, family loss, migration, or other significant hardships experienced by previous generations.

You might relate to:

• Feeling like you're carrying emotional weight that doesn't completely feel like it's yours.

• Growing up with family rules about what you can and cannot talk about.

• Feeling like certain painful experiences are simply “not discussed” in your family.

• Feeling responsible for protecting or taking care of your family.

• Having a strong fear of instability, loss, or not having enough.

• Feeling like you have to work extremely hard to create a better life for yourself and your family.

• Feeling guilty when you prioritize yourself or choose a different path from your family.

• Struggling to understand why certain family patterns keep repeating.

• Feeling torn between honoring where you come from and wanting to do things differently.

• Feeling like you have to be strong for everyone else.

• Having difficulty expressing emotions because vulnerability wasn't modeled in your family.

• Feeling disconnected from parts of your family's history or identity.

• Carrying beliefs about safety, success, relationships, or survival that you learned growing up.

• Feeling like you have to “make your family proud” or live up to expectations.

• Worrying that you'll pass your family's struggles on to your own children.

You may find yourself thinking: “I want to break certain patterns, but I don't always know how.” or “I love my family, but I don't want to keep repeating the same things.”

Medical experiences can sometimes leave a lasting emotional impact, especially when you have experienced a serious illness, frightening diagnosis, emergency, hospitalization, or procedure.

You might:

• Feel anxious before medical appointments.

• Avoid going to the doctor because the experience feels overwhelming.

• Become very focused on physical symptoms.

• Worry that something is seriously wrong with you.

• Feel panicked when you notice changes in your body.

• Have difficulty trusting medical professionals.

• Feel like no one understands how frightening the experience was for you.

• Become overwhelmed by medical settings, smells, sounds, or procedures.

• Feel like you have little control over what happens to your body.

• Have strong emotional reactions when something reminds you of what happened.

You may think: “I know I'm okay now, but my body still reacts like I'm back there.”

Parenting can bring enormous joy, but it can also bring experiences that are frightening, overwhelming, or deeply painful.

Parenting-related trauma can occur around pregnancy (perinatal), childbirth (postpartum), a child's medical needs, a frightening experience involving your child, or the experience of feeling like you couldn't protect your child.

You might relate to:

• Feeling like you're constantly worried something will happen to your child.

• Checking on your child repeatedly to make sure they're okay.

• Feeling on edge when your child is sick or experiencing something unusual.

• Feeling like you need to anticipate every possible danger.

• Having difficulty relaxing when your child is away from you.

• Feeling intense guilt about things that were outside your control.

• Thinking, “I should have known.”

• Thinking, “I should have been able to protect them.”

• Replaying a frightening event involving your child.

• Becoming overwhelmed by reminders of something that happened.

• Feeling anxious about doctors, hospitals, school, childcare, or other situations involving your child.

• Having difficulty trusting other people to care for your child.

• Feeling like you need to be constantly vigilant.

• Feeling exhausted from always being “on.”

• Feeling disconnected or numb because everything became too overwhelming.

• Feeling guilty when you take time for yourself.

• Feeling like you're supposed to be grateful or happy, while privately struggling.

• Having difficulty talking about what happened because it feels too painful.

You may find yourself thinking: “I know I can't protect my child from everything, but I can't seem to stop worrying that something will happen.” or “I keep going back to that moment and wondering what I could have done differently.”

Racial trauma can develop from experiencing racism, discrimination, racial violence, microaggressions, stereotyping, exclusion, or repeatedly witnessing racism directed toward people who share your racial or ethnic identity.

It isn't necessarily one major event. Sometimes the cumulative effect of repeated experiences can be exhausting and deeply painful.

You might relate to:

• Feeling like you have to be more careful about how you present yourself.

• Feeling like you have to work harder to be taken seriously.

• Constantly wondering whether something happened because of your race.

• Feeling exhausted from having to explain or defend your experiences.

• Feeling angry, frustrated, or hurt after experiencing discrimination.

• Questioning yourself after someone makes a comment that feels discriminatory.

• Feeling like you have to decide whether something is “worth” addressing.

• Becoming hyperaware of how you're perceived in certain environments.

• Changing how you speak, dress, behave, or express yourself depending on where you are.

• Feeling like you have to represent your entire racial or cultural group.

• Feeling pressure to succeed because of what your family or community has experienced.

• Feeling exhausted from constantly navigating environments where you don't feel fully understood or accepted.

• Experiencing anxiety in situations where you've previously experienced discrimination.

• Feeling angry about having to deal with things other people don't have to think about.

• Feeling disconnected from people who don't understand your experiences.

• Feeling conflicted about your racial or cultural identity.

• Feeling guilty for wanting distance from aspects of your culture while also wanting to stay connected to it.

You may think: “I'm tired of having to think about things that other people don't have to think about.” or “I don't know if I'm overreacting, but I know that experience affected me.”

When you've been hurt by someone you trusted, it can be difficult to feel completely safe with someone new—even when they treat you well.

You might:

• Have a hard time trusting your partner.

• Worry that they'll eventually hurt, leave, or betray you.

• Read into their tone, texts, or changes in behavior.

• Feel anxious when they seem distant.

• Need reassurance but still have trouble believing it.

• Become uncomfortable when someone gets too close.

• Push people away when you start feeling vulnerable.

• Stay quiet about your needs because you're afraid of creating conflict.

• Apologize even when you've done nothing wrong.

• Feel responsible for keeping the relationship happy.

• Have difficulty setting boundaries.

• Question whether you're “asking for too much.”

• Feel like you're waiting for the other shoe to drop when things are going well.

You may think: “Everything is fine, so why am I waiting for something to go wrong?”

Sexual trauma can affect your relationship with your body, intimacy, trust, and sense of safety.

You might:

• Feel uncomfortable or disconnected during intimacy.

• Have difficulty saying what you want or don't want.

• Feel guilty saying no.

• Go along with things because it's easier than disappointing someone.

• Feel anxious when someone gets physically close.

• Have difficulty trusting a partner during intimate moments.

• Avoid intimacy altogether.

• Want intimacy but find that your body doesn't feel safe enough to relax.

• Feel shame or blame yourself for what happened.

• Have difficulty feeling comfortable in your own body.

• Experience strong emotional reactions to certain situations, touches, or sensations.

You may think: “I want to feel close to someone, but something in me just can't relax.”

Work can affect your mental health in ways that extend far beyond your workday.

You might:

• Feel anxious Sunday night thinking about Monday.

• Feel like you're constantly waiting to be criticized.

• Second-guess everything you say or do.

• Be afraid to make even small mistakes.

• Have difficulty trusting your supervisor or coworkers.

• Feel like you have to prove yourself constantly.

• Overwork because you're afraid of what will happen if you don't.

• Avoid speaking up even when something isn't okay.

• Feel your heart race when your boss asks to speak with you.

• Have difficulty relaxing after work.

• Continue thinking about work long after you've gone home.

• Notice that your confidence has changed since the experience.

You may think: “I used to be confident at work. I don't know what happened.”